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april booklog
( 39. The Fellowship of the Ring - JRR Tolkien ) An excellent start to an epic adventure; I enjoyed re-visiting this a lot, although I had forgotten quite how many poems there were.
( 40. The Poisoned Chocolates Case - Anthony Berkeley ) The gimmick was a fun idea but it got a bit personal for me; still, mostly this was pretty entertaining.
( 41. Encore in Death, 44. Payback in Death, and 45. Passions in Death - JD Robb ) I gobbled all of these down and thoroughly enjoyed them, as ever.
( 42. Venomous Lumpsucker - Ned Beauman ) Bleak and kind of funny and also depressingly ridiculous; this is more towards the literary end of things than I usually go, but I did rather enjoy it.
( 43. Artificial Condition - Martha Wells ) Mostly I wish novellas were longer, but I can't deny that Wells manages to pack a lot into them!
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It looks like fetch is going to happen!
Today I finally got around to watching the trailer for the new Fantastic Four movie. I am absolutely jaw-dropped and looking forward to seeing this movie, which I never really expected to be. It's as if someone at Marvel read my post from last year about why previous Fantastic Four movies hadn't really worked well and taken my ideas to heart. I don't think I can ever recall a studio making the movie I wanted them to make!
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The Brightness Between Us by Eliot Schrefer
As you definitely need to go into Book 1 knowing as little as possible, I can't talk about the plot of Book 2. Let's just say that it was a pleasure to meet these characters again.
There's major m/m, minor m/nb, as well as an asexual female character.
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Wednesday had an online meeting about reviving a project they began decades ago
What I read
Finished Wide is the Gate, and while things are getting grimmer and grimmer as regards The World Situation, I am still very much there for Our Protag Lanny being a mild-mannered art dealer with a secret identity as anti-fascist activist, who gets on with everybody and is quite the antithesis of the Two-Fisted Hollywood Hero. (I was thinking who would I cast in the role and while there's a touch of the Jimmy Stewarts, the social aplomb and little moustache - William Powell?)
Lates Literary Review.
Mary Gordon, The Chase of the Wild Goose: The Story of Lady Eleanor Butler and Miss Sarah Ponsonby, Known as the Ladies of Llangollen (1936), which is sort-of a classic version of their story recently republished. But o dear, it does one of my pet hates, which is blurring 'imaginative recreation' with 'biographical research' and skipping between the two modes, and then in the final chapter she encounters the ghosts of of the Ladies, I can't even, really. Plus, Gordon, who was b. 1861, obtained medical education, fought for suffrage, etc, nevertheless disses on Victorian women as 'various kinds of imbecile', unlike those robust and politically-engaged ladies of the Georgian era. WOT. TUT. Also honking class issues about how the Ladies were Ladies and always behaved accordingly.
Began Robert Rodi, What They Did to Princess Paragon (1994), which was just not doing it for me, I can be doing with viewpoint characters being Not Nice, but I was beginning to find both of them (the comic-book writer and the fanboy) tedious.
Also not doing it for me, Barbara Vine, The Child's Child (2012): sorry, the inset novel did not read to me like a real novel of the period at which it was supposed to have been writ as opposed to A Historical Novel of Those Oppressive Times of the early C20th. Also, in frame narrative, I know PhD student who is writing thesis on unwed mothers in literature is doing EngLit but I do think someone might have mentioned (given period at which she is supposed to be doing this) the historiography on The Foundling Hospital.
I then turned to Shirley Jackson, We Have Always Lived in the Castle (1962), which it is a very long time since I read.
Then I was reduced to Agatha Christie, By the Pricking of My Thumbs (1968), and Murder in the Mews (1937).
On the go
I happened to spot my copy of Margery Sharp, Cluny Brown (1944), which I know I was looking for a while ago, and am reading that though it looks as though I re-read it more recently than I thought.
Have also begun on Books For Review.
Up Next
Really dunno.
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Dear Prudence: My Ex Is Warning All My Dates About Me
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Wednesday Reading Meme
Lo these many years ago, after my grandma died, I helped sort out her bookshelves, which held books all the way back from her book-loving aunts and uncles in the early 1900s. As I was at the time in a graduate program, staring down a Ph.D. thesis set roughly in that era, I took a few books that seemed representative, including George Barr McCutcheon’s The Alternative, as McCutcheon was a famous Hoosier humorist of the time period.
So was Booth Tarkington, whose work is still very funny, so I approached McCutcheon’s book with high hopes. However, this is perhaps not the place to start with McCutcheon, as it’s a bit of weightless romantic Christmas fluff that barely cracks one hundred pages despite largish type and beautiful green leafy borders around each page.
Beautifully printed, though. I might keep it just as a lovely example of the printer’s trade.
I’m not usually a bit audiobook person, but when
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Schur is good at amusing descriptions of different moral approaches to problems, but less strong when he wanders off the beaten path to discuss, say, what moral philosophy has to say about engaging with the art of terrible people (or chicken sandwiches made by chicken sandwich companies with politics you abhor, etc.). He ultimately comes down on the side of “I guess you gotta decide for yourself,” which isn’t really guidance, especially after he’s just run through why he thinks virtue ethics, utilitarianism, and Kant’s Categorical Imperative suggest that you should give up that literal or metaphorical chicken sandwich. Have some guts, man! Either stand by your moral reasoning, or offer a counterargument why actually it’s FINE if we all chow down on some Chik-Fil-A.
What I’m Reading Now
Padraic Colum’s The Big Tree of Bunlahy: Stories of My Own Countryside. Colum won a couple of other Newbery Honors, both of which I felt were dry and dull, but apparently all Colum needed was the inspiration of writing about his very own corner of Ireland to blossom into a fascinating storyteller. I’m doling the book out one tale a night and it’s still going to end far too soon.
What I Plan to Read Next
Evelina has arrived!
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Why don't you ever let me love you?
It's more than irony that this blurred epiphany occurs in the none more hetero setting of a bachelorette weekend, whose all-girl rituals of cheese plates and orange wine on the patio and drunkenly endless karaoke in a rustically open-plan rental somewhere down the central coast of California are so relentlessly guy-oriented, the Bechdel–Wallace test would have booked it back up 101 after Viagra entered the chat. The goofiest, freakiest manifestation of the insistence on men are the selfie masks of the groom's face with which the bride's friends are supposed to pose as she shows off her veil in the lavender overcast of the driftwood-littered beach, but it's no less telling that as the conversation circles chronically around partners past and present, it's dudes all the way down. Even jokily, their twentysomething, swipe-right femininity admits nothing of women who love women, which leaves almost literally unspeakable the current between ginger-tousled, disenchanted Ruby (Jenna Lampe) and her lankier, longtime BFF Leila (Greer Cohen), the outsiders of this little party otherwise composed of blonde-bobbed Chloe (Ally Davis) and her flanking mini-posse of Grace (Erica Mae McNeal) and Lex (Tiara Cosme Ruiz), always ready to reassure their wannabe queen bee that she's not a bad person for marrying a landlord. "That's his passion!" They are not lovers, these friends who drove down together in Ruby's SUV. Leila has a boyfriend of three months whose lingering kiss at the door occasioned an impatiently eye-rolling horn-blare from Ruby, herself currently single after the latest in a glum history of heterosexual strike-outs: "No, seriously, like every man subconsciously stops being attracted to me as soon as I tell him that I don't want to have kids." And yet the potential thrums through their interactions, from the informality of unpacking a suitcase onto an already occupied bed to the nighttime routine of brushing their teeth side by side, one skimming her phone in bed as the other emerges from the shower and unselfconsciously drops her towel for a sleep shirt, climbing in beside her with such casual intimacy that it looks from one angle like the innocence of no chance of attraction, from another like the ease of a couple even longer established than the incoming wedding's three years. "He's just threatened by you," Leila calms the acknowledgement of antipathy between her boyfriend and her best friend. It gets a knowing little ripple of reaction from the rest of the group, but even as she explains for their tell-all curiosity, she's smiling over at her friend at the other end of the sofa, an unsarcastic united front, "Probably because he knows I love her more than him."
Given that the viewer is encouraged to stake out a position on the sex scene, it does make the most sense to me as a dream, albeit the kind that reads like a direct memo from a subconscious that has given up waiting for dawn to break over Marblehead. It's gorgeous, oblique, a showcase for the 16 mm photography of Ryan Bradford at its most delicately saturated, the leaf-flicker of sun through the wooden blinds, the rumpling of a hand under a tie-dyed shirt, a shallow-breasted kiss, a bunching of sheets, all dreamily desynched and yet precisely tactile as a fingernail crossing a navel ring: "Tell me if you want me to move my hand." Ruby's lashes lie as closed against her cheeks as her head on the pillow throughout. No wonder she looks woozy the next morning, drinking a glass of water straight from the tap as if trying to cool down from skin-buzzing incubus sex, the edge-of-waking fantasy of being done exactly as she dreamt without having to ask. "Spread your legs, then." Scrolling through their sunset selfie session, she zooms and lingers on the two of them, awkwardly voguing back to back for the camera. She stares wordlessly at Leila across the breakfast table, ἀλλ’ ἄκαν μὲν γλῶσσα ἔαγε λέπτον δ’ αὔτικα χρῶι πῦρ ὐπαδεδρόμηκεν to the life. Chloe is rhapsodizing about her Hallmark romance, but Ruby is speaking to her newly sensitized desires: "I just really hate that narrative, though. Pretending that you don't want something in the hopes that you'll get the thing that you're pretending that you don't want? Like, it just doesn't make any sense." It is just not credible to me that Leila who made such a point of honesty in relationships would pretend that nothing had happened when she checks in on her spaced-out friend with quizzical concern, snuggles right back into that same bed for an affectionate half-argument about her landlord potential. "I'm sure there are dishwasher catalogues still being produced somewhere in the world." Still, as if something of the dream had seeped out Schrödinger's between them, we remember that it was Leila who winkled her way into an embrace of the normally standoffish Ruby, who had her arms wrapped around her friend as she delivered what sure sounded like a queerplatonic proposal: "Look, if we both end up single because we both don't want kids, at least we'll have each other. We can have our own wedding." The last shots of the film find them almost in abstract, eyes meeting in the rear view mirror, elbows resting on the center console as the telephone poles and the blue-scaled Pacific flick by. It promises nothing and feels like a possibility. Perhaps it was not only Ruby's dream.
I can't know for certain, of course, and it seems to matter to the filmmaker that I should not know, but even if all that has changed is Ruby's own awareness, it's worth devoting this immersive hangout of a short film to. The meditative score by Karsten Osterby sounds at once chill and expectant, at times almost drowning the dialogue as if zoning the audience out into Ruby. The visible grain and occasional flaw in the film keep it haptically grounded, a memento of Polaroids instead of digitally-filtered socials. For every philosophizing moment like "Do you ever have those dreams where you wake up and you go about your day and get ready and everything feels normal, but then you wake up and you're still in bed, so you're like, 'Oh, was I sleeping or was that real?'" there's the ouchily familiar beat where Ruby and Leila realize simultaneously that neither of them knows the name of Chloe's fiancé, just the fact that he's a landlord. Whatever, it's an exquisite counterweight to heteronormativity, a leaf-light of queerness at the most marital-industrial of times. I found it on Vimeo and it's on YouTube, too. This catalogue brought to you by my single backers at Patreon.
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Recent reading
Started reading Murderland: Crime and Bloodlust in the Time of Serial Killers by Caroline Fraser (whose biography of Laura Ingalls Wilder I read a few years back) and I'm curious to see where she's going with this, because there seem to be a couple of main threads emerging: her central argument appears to be that the reason the Pacific Northwest had so many serial killers in the 70s-80s was childhood exposure to lead poisoning and other toxins, but she's also writing a lot about the other ways the PNW can kill you - so far, poor bridge construction and earthquakes - and has started to weave in references to her own childhood on Mercer Island, near Seattle.
For a completely different vibe, I've been re-reading In Defiance of All Geometry and World Ain't Ready by idiopathicsmile, because I rewatched the Les Mis 25th Anniversary Concert and was immediately slammed with teenage fandom nostalgia. It occurs to me that the appeal of both idiopathicsmile's fics (+ the Les Mis fandom on Tumblr circa 2013-15 in general, really) and my favorite actual published YA in high school (Maggie Stiefvater's Raven Cycle) was the premise of having a close-knit group of friends who are deeply passionate about something (social justice! quest for a magical dead Welsh king!) and all a little bit in love with each other. I also discovered from a friend with an AO3 account that our mutual favorite author of canon-era Les Mis fic did not delete her fics, just made them private, so after a decade+ of lurking I finally signed up for an AO3 account, or rather for an invitation(?) to make one, which I will hopefully receive... some time next week?
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Murderbot through 1.6
1.6 sure was a combination of "funny" and "I cannot look at the screen". So there's that. It's still entertaining but I may be getting to the point where I have to fast forward through my extreme embarrassment squick going on with Ratthi when it comes to Pin-Lee.
The situation: Arada and Pin-Lee are married. Arada wants to bring Ratthi into their relationship; they've had a third in their relationship before and it hasn't worked out. Pin-Lee isn't really into the idea, it's being heavily pushed by Arada. Pin-Lee then eventually agrees to it for Arada's sake.
Here's where it gets to the part where I just keep having second-hand embarrassment: Ratthi doesn't know this. Ratthi thinks that both Arada and Pin-Lee are equally happy to have him in the relationship, and he's really really into this relationship. He seems to want this to be permanent and is just really happy with it. And he keeps having interactions with Pin-Lee where Pin-Lee is very uncomfortable and doesn't want to be having these interactions with Ratthi, but, crucially, has not said any of this to Ratthi. Ratthi has no way to know that Pin-Lee isn't as into him as he's into them.
And so we keep getting these moments where Ratthi doesn't fucking know that the person he's trying to have a good faith relationship interaction with does not want this, but yet has never said anything about it.
Somebody please break up Ratthi from Arada/Pin-Lee for the sake of everyone. Or maybe Pin-Lee can actually say something, rather than seemingly 1) being content to suffer in silence for the sake of the Arada/Pin-Lee relationship (Arada has never said Ratthi was a necessary addition to the Arada/Pin-Lee relationship for the sake of its continuance), or 2) expecting someone in this relationship to read their mind and magically divine their discomfort and break it up for them.
I suspect this was added to the show for narrative reasons, including mirroring with the Sanctuary Moon stuff (still delightful, still clear that everyone involved in that is having the time of their life), but zomg. It is excruciating.
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Dónde tienen su hogar las aves migratorias?
Below are just three screenshots from a series of 16 photos on the Instagram account of somadifusa (Laura Ortiz), of murals she and the tattoo artist Azul Luna (Instagram account azulunailustra) painted in Bogota, Colombia.
I'm captivated by these images both of traveling swallows, some bearing backpacks and baskets, some with shells on their back like hermit crabs, and of hearts that are also nests, or that morph into shells, or sprout flowers and eyes. "Home is where the heart is," or the heart makes the home.
They write [my clunky translation--see the link at the end to see their original]
I have seen swallows nest in dark passageways, in airports, beneath bridges, in the palm of a hand and in the center of a star. Their wings cover kilometers, crossing the scars of the earth, their free flight reminding us that to migrate is not a crime and that borders are imaginary.




They conclude their post with a Spanish translation of a poem they believe is by Emily Dickinson, but there's absolutely no sign of it in English, and no sign of it in Spanish, either, except their post. Very strange... Please let them not have been taken in by an AI hallucination... please let there be some other explanation
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the sandals didn't fit.
I stopped at the Copley Square farmers market on the way home and bought a loaf of bread, a few cucumbers, and a pint of strawberries. Part of why I did this today rather than tomorrow was so I could stop at the market.
(no subject)
At one point, before anyone could intervene, the baby startled my dog, and my dog reacted by biting him. It wasn't just a nip, either. It was a hard bite, and it left a mark. Thankfully, the injury wasn't severe, but it was enough to cause a lot of distress, especially for my cousin and her husband. My cousin was understandably upset, and while she tried to be civil about it, I could tell she was angry and hurt.
I feel so much guilt about the bite, but I'm also worried about what this means for our relationship moving forward and for my dog. I don't know how to make things right. Should I have done more to prevent the situation? How do I approach my cousin now and express how sorry I am without making things worse? -- Dog Bite
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I want to tell my mother about this
I have just bought a flat of cherries (approx 1kg) for a fiver. And they're really nice cherries. My mother is away on a trip until Saturday so I cannot share my triumph with her. It's a shame because there's no one else in my life who would really rejoice in the double-whammy of lots & lots of lovely fruit and a bargain!
I also have a pineapple (going cheap), two galla melons (because himself loves them), a ginormous watermelon (what better in a heatwave?), rhubarb (probably the last I'll see this year) and half-a-dozen pears (just because).
So much lovely fruit.
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“yeah we’ve got a light / to see our way by / we’ve got what we need / when we’ve got you”
The ‘3.5% rule’: How a small minority can change the world. BBC summary of an academic study with historical data. Pull quote: “Nonviolent protests are twice as likely to succeed as armed conflicts – and those engaging a threshold of 3.5% of the population have never failed to bring about change.” For perspective, for the US that’s about 11 million people, to give a totally random example. (via
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Nicely thinky New Yorker profile of Martha Wells (archive version). CW: inconsistent misgendering of Murderbot (mostly in one paragraph). (via /r/murderbot)
Interview with the production designer of Murderbot, who is nicely thinky. (via
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---L.
Subject quote from We've Got You - i: Spark, Vienna Teng.
One column, two letters
Dear Annie: My husband and I have two kids under 5, and we both work full-time. As you can imagine, our lives are pretty hectic. My mother-in-law lives about 30 minutes away and expects us to visit her almost every weekend. If we don't, she lays on the guilt pretty thick -- talking about how she "never sees the kids" or implying we don't value family.
The truth is, we're just exhausted. Weekends are the only time we get to catch up on rest, housework or just quality time together as a family without having to entertain. We've tried inviting her to our house instead, but she always declines and insists we come to her.
I know she means well, and we want her to have a relationship with the kids, but I'm starting to dread the constant pressure. How can we set firmer boundaries without starting a bigger family conflict? -- Tired But Trying
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2. Dear Annie: Out of the blue, my daughter told me she bought a house in Connecticut and will be moving there from New Jersey. She insists the two-hour drive isn't far, but I feel hurt and blindsided that she didn't let me know about this until she'd already bought the house and was getting ready to sell her New Jersey home.
Her mother-in-law helped her financially with the move, which is great, but now she'll live just 30 minutes from her in-laws while I'm two hours away. I feel betrayed having been kept in the dark. I'm also 65, live on my own and have a very, very sick dog. I don't know how long the dog will live, but for now, traveling two hours one way just isn't an option.
I'm very hurt by what she did and I'm trying to get past it. She used to live just 30 minutes from me, and now she'll be just as close to her mother-in-law, who helped her buy the house. I've actually had to go on antidepressants because of this. Thankfully, my son and his fiancee live a mile away, so that's a blessing. But I feel like the mother-in-law pulled a fast one as she has her daughter, her daughter's family and now her son and his family so close to her.
Please give me some advice to help me get through this. -- Left Out in New Jersey
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